one sleepy peach

one sleepy peach
Originally uploaded by kellypeach

so, life status update:

as many of you know, i'm in graduate school. last year i had loads of time consuming classes and terrible tests that required weeks of arduous preparation. then i finished my first year.

the summer was glorious. i went home from work and just chilled out. i regained possession of my evenings. i drew. i rode bikes. i watched movies. i took deep breaths. i did yoga. i cut stencils. i sent boatloads of mail. i hula hooped. i juggled. i drank beer. i danced until the wee hours of the night. i read zines. i chilled the fuck out.

unfortunately, my evenings have been stolen out from under me once again. i now spend every evening working on....dun, dun, duuunnn. my second year seminar. it's this miserable rite of passage required for year two. you must prepare and present an hour long seminar on a novel and innovative topic of organic chemistry. the professors are sure to ask terrible, terrifying questions. there are sure to be at least 100 eyes on you while you try and describe the transition state of your compound with the BARF ligand, that's right, the BARF ligand. WHO DOES THAT?!? WHAT TYPE OF SCREWED UP JERK NAMES THEIR LIGAND 'BARF'? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY BARF IN FRONT OF 50 PEOPLE WITHOUT LOSING IT. I'M SCREWED. anyhow, i've been preparing for this damn talk for a full month. i have one week to go before the big day, and

i am tired.

i am tired of spending every evening falling asleep amidst a scattered pile of science articles. i am tired of waking up at 6:00am on BOTH saturday and sunday to get to work by 8:00am. i am tired of spending over 13 hours a day thinking about asymmetric biaryl synthesis. i am tired of never seeing my boyfriend, or making him miserable by having to be around my grumpy ass. i am tired of powerpoint. i am tired of chemdraw's lack of fucking keyboard shortcuts. WHAT THE HELL CHEMDRAW PROGRAMMERS!?! DO IT FUCKING BETTER. i am tired of never having a spare moment to answer phone calls. i am tired of being so nervous and strung out that i can't sleep. i am tired of ordering small mochas at the coffee shop everyday, so i can legitimately spend 7 hours at my table. i am tired of this miserable routine.

i can't wait for this to be over. for spring break i'm going to breckenridge for a parasitology conference. once i get back from that i'm not going to leave the airport, i'm going to head to a different gate for a WEEK LONG VACATION TO PORTLAND, HELL YA! i can't wait to transform back into a balanced human again.

the tunnel is still very dark, but there is a small pinpoint of white light in the distance. god i hope i have the perseverance to see that pinpoint widen.